


Mr. Jesus

by WritingBarnes



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Crack, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), friendship peter & reader, gonna fix infinity war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 21:09:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14818919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingBarnes/pseuds/WritingBarnes
Summary: “I met Jesus.” Peter whispered conspiratorially while she tried to rearrange the disturbingly fluffy piles of leaves inside a large tree hollow of a tree (was it still a tree hollow when it could fit three adults inside?). She had only met him yesterday and the kid had stuck to her like a little duckling. He recognized her from the Avengers family picture he saw in the Avengers common room, he said, which could only mean one thing: a friend, or a parental figure. She didn’t know yet. How old was this kid again? Five?





	Mr. Jesus

**Author's Note:**

> a crackfic of Infinity war because god knows we need more fluff and crackfic after that angsty mess we call infinity war *and because i just want an excuse to use the gif*
> 
> @marvel : Make this happen you cowards
> 
>  
> 
> ENJOY <3
> 
>  
> 
> (gifs not mine)

“I met Jesus.” Peter whispered conspiratorially while she tried to rearrange the disturbingly fluffy piles of leaves inside a large tree hollow of a tree (was it still a tree hollow when it could fit three adults inside?). She had only met him yesterday and the kid had stuck to her like a little duckling. He recognized her from the Avengers family picture he saw in the Avengers common room, he said, which could only mean one thing: a friend, or a parental figure. She didn’t know yet. _How old was this kid again? Five?_

 

“I’m serious!” He jumped on his bed of fluffy leaves he had arranged on the other side of the tree hollow. It was twice as thick, with little flowers decorating its edges. He even put a little decoration on the empty space in the middle of the room, one she thought resembled a mangled spider. He had that wide-eyed, star-struck look on his face when she mentioned it to him earlier, face blooming into a bright smile. “I saw him when I woke up in this place, which, by the way, is really cool if I wasn’t so terrified. I was crying one minute and ended up here the next.” She snorted at that. _This_ was him terrified? What was this kid on, really?

 

“Peter, did you hit your head when you got here?” She finally asked.

 

“No. You don’t believe me, don’t you? I wouldn’t lie about things like this. I really saw Jesus!” Peter insisted, making an impressive flip from the bed, only to hit the side of the tree hollow. “This place sucks. Are you sure there’s no houses around here?”

 

“You can go if you want.” [Y/N] raised her eyebrows, gesturing to the opening of the tree hollow. “Maybe your Jesus could help you.” She finished with a snicker.

 

“That’s just mean, [Y/N].” Peter pointed his finger accusingly, his face slowly turned into one that reminded her of Steve when he was being a stubborn little shit. “Fine. I will find Jesus and bring him to you, then.”

 

“Okay, kid.” She shrugged, throwing her body into the plush leafy bed.

 

.

 

One thing she noticed about Peter from the past two days was that he was _really_ bad at coping with stress, which was understandable. He was just seventeen years old, still a little too bright and naive for the real world. She had her expectations. She knew he was going to break down in tears, probably after all this adrenaline rush worn off. She did not, however, expect him to wake her up in the middle of the night with tears streaming down his blotchy face while he giggled hysterically.

 

“We’re gonna die. Are we dead? I think we are. You know, I was really dramatic when I disintegrated, crying to Mr. Stark like he was my own dad. He’s like a father to me. Do you think he’ll adopt me? I don’t really know but I was panicking and stuff, yeah? And poof. I was gone and I woke up with Jesus looming over me, asking me if I’m okay and what not. And I ran and I found you. And you’re a nice person, I think–“ he took a deep, shaky breath before he continued, “and I’m really scared. I miss my family and friends and I don’t know what is going to happen to us? Can we even go back?” His words came in one rush, her sleepy mind could barely register half of it.

 

“We’re not dead yet.” She said, turning around to get back to her slumber.

 

“What do you mean, yet?!” He squeaked. She turned her head to see Peter’s panicked eyes and sighed, reaching out her hand to give his head a little pat.

 

“I’m pretty sure we’re not dead. This place is too crappy to be heaven, Peter. Please go to sleep.”

 

.

 

“What’s that, [Y/N]?” Peter pointed out the necklace ring that hung loosely around her neck.

 

“My boyfriend gave it to me.” She replied in a clipped tone that seemed to surprise both of them. They were on their way to find some food and water. There were a lot of people scattered around the land, most of them still in shock or still trying not to cry for the nth time. She couldn’t really care less. She was exhausted, she missed her boyfriend who had promised her a nice vacation, she missed the sugary Starbucks drinks.

 

“How long have you been together?” Peter was still trailing behind her, eyes scanning their surrounding for fruits or water stream.

 

“Couple of years. We’re planning on getting married next year.” [Y/N] sighed. She rubbed her temples, trying to ease the headache. “This is a fucking joke.” She muttered under her breath.

 

“Maybe we can find Jesus and he’ll help us, [Y/N]?” His voice was so small and quiet she almost didn’t hear it. But this had been the third day without proper water and food, and she was getting tired of everything. So she nodded, gesturing him to lead the way to his so-called Jesus.

 

.

 

“MISTER JESUS!” Peter shouted happily, running out of the bushy forest towards the supposed Jesus. [Y/N] was too busy grumbling to herself to properly notice her surrounding, her mind filled with things she wanted to tell this Jesus. She had _a lot_ to say.

 

“Hello, my child.”

 

[Y/N] paused.

 

 _Wait_.

 

She knew _that_ voice. And that was definitely not how Jesus would sound like.

 

Hell, she had been hearing that same voice for the past few years. She slowly gazed up from her ruined suit, eyes widening at the sight of Peter and his ‘Mr. Jesus’. Peter, small, precious Peter Parker who was still in his spidey suit, was practically vibrating in excitement as he turned around to her.

 

“[Y/N], meet Mr. Jesu–“

 

“BUCKY WHAT THE FUCK.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading the fic
> 
> let me know what you think! :)


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